Networking
Reviving old connections without sounding self-serving
Your network is full of dormant relationships that could turn into opportunities.
Everyone has dozens of LinkedIn connections who were once close and are now dormant: former colleagues, past clients, people you met at events. These relationships are a forgotten asset. Reviving them can open valuable doors, with one obvious trap: showing up out of nowhere only when you need a favor.
Why self-serving reconnection fails
When someone disappears for years and resurfaces with a request, the message is clear: “I only remembered you because I need something.” That creates discomfort and often a polite no. Instead of being revived, the relationship takes a hit. Reconnecting is fine. The problem is doing it with obvious self-interest and no genuine bridge back to the relationship.
How to reconnect naturally
- Reconnect without asking for anything: start by simply getting back in touch
- Show genuine interest: ask how they're doing
- Use a natural hook: a shared memory, a recent achievement of theirs, a common topic
- Give before you ask: congratulate, help, acknowledge
- Rebuild the relationship gradually, before any request
Treat reconnection as a relationship
The key is to treat reconnection as picking up a relationship where you left off, instead of firing off a request. When you come back with real interest in the person and no hidden agenda, people tend to respond well. The opportunity, if there is one, comes later and naturally, on top of a relationship that has warmed up again. Order matters.
Dormant connections are untapped opportunities. Reviving them with sincerity, instead of thinly veiled self-interest, is one of the richest and most overlooked forms of networking. Your network already exists. You just need to rekindle it the right way.
